After a mix of blowouts and close finishes, the first round of the NBA playoffs is shaping up to be entertaining. The Sixers are doing their thing without Embiid, the Celtics look good without Kyrie, the Pacers shocked the Cavs in their first game. But, I’m here to answer a question that nobody really cares about that much: which series matters the least?
Wizards/Raptors: The narrative of the Raptors stars playing terribly in the playoffs is fun to keep track of, and the first half of the first game continued that narrative. Then, the second half came and DeRozan went off and Lowry was… eh. The Raptors broke their game one curse, and it will be interesting to see how the starting backcourt plays down the stretch. The winner plays the winner of Cavs/Raptors, which will be a good series. Also, Fred Van Vleet and Jakob Poeltl. I love those two humans. Interest Level (Scale of 1-10): 6
Rockets/Wolves:The Wolves literally limped into the playoffs in overtime of game 82, and the Rockets are just destroying the NBA this year. They play the winner of Thunder/Jazz, and I really don’t see anyone stopping the Rockets so the TimberBulls return to the playoffs is going to be spoiled in an overall uninteresting series. I also don’t wanna watch Derrick Rose play bad defense. I only want playoff Nemanja Bjelica. Interest level: 4
Cavs/Pacers: I’ve talked a lot about the Pacers, especially how they could have beaten the Sixers in a hypothetical first round matchup. They just got a wire-to-wire win against the Cavs for Lebron’s first round one loss in six years. I VERY much care about this series. I love the Pacers. Playoff Oladipo dropped 32. Lance Stephenson is doing exactly what everybody wants him to do. Kevin Prichard is already doing his victory laps. I’m all in. This matters the most. Interest Level: 10!
Thunder/Jazz: Booooriiiiiing. As of this article, this game is at halftime. The Thunder’s “Big 3” (is this what constitutes a big 3 now?) has scored a vast majority of their points, and the Jazz keep playing at least 16 seconds into every shot clock. This matters very little. The winner goes on to lose to the Rockets. Snore. The only thing that matters about this series is Donovan Mitchell showing what he can do. This might matter the least. Interest level: 2
Sixers/Heat: This one is fun. When Embiid comes back to mess with Whiteside, it will be more interesting, but right now, it’s all about the Sixers showing they’re in playoff rhythm. Ben Simmons destroying defenses, three-point shooters like Reddick showing out, and PLAYOFF KELLY OLYNYK! Winner plays the winner of Celtics/Bucks but that doesn’t matter because I like this series, it’s very fun. I recently tweeted about how I wasn’t sold on the Sixers yet, but now The Process is Trusted. Interest level: 7
Blazers/Pelicans: Game One has me so interested in everything except Terry Stotts’s coaching style. Down three with less than a minute left, he drew up plays for Myers Leonard and Pat Connaughton to go for layups? Why? Why did you choke the comeback away? Lillard actually being clutch is also in question after the loss, and Anthony Davis just absolutely embarrassing the Blazers defense is something I can get behind. Winner plays Warriors/Spurs winner, that’s gonna be a fun series for a few games. Interest level: 7. If not for Stotts, it would be an 8.
Celtics/Bucks: Game One was interesting but this series definitely puts me to sleep. A Bucks team with an interim coach and the Celtics team without the guy that made everyone care about the Celtics. The winner goes on to play the Sixers/Heat winner in an overall uninteresting second round. The best player on the Celtics roster actually really has the nickname “Average Al” Horford. I don’t know, I just can’t get behind it. Brad Stevens being a good coach is alright, I guess. Interest level: 1
Warriors/Spurs: Ohhhh my goooood this series is really boriiiing. I’m sorry to all Warriors and Spurs fans but I can’t think of a more predictable series now that Kawhi is officially out with no possibility of coming back. Not only is it predictable, but the Warriors have a good strategy for defending LaMarcus Aldridge so now the best player on the Spurs is Rudy Gay. Winner plays Blazers/Pelicans. Eh. I guess that’s exciting. Playoff Manu is fun at least. Interest level: 2
So, we’ve reached the conclusion that Celtics/Bucks is the most difficult to care about. What can we do to care about it? Here are a few solutions:
- Enjoy Terry Rozier’s rise and his eventual free agency
- Think about how cool and fun the Celtics will be next year with Kyrie and Gordon Hayward
- Watch Giannis dunk and go “that was neat”
- Hate Eric Bledsoe with a passion like I do (haha Terry Rozier is your father now, nice clutch defense)
That’s pretty much all I’ve got. Watch the NBA Playoffs. Basketball is fun, so you should have fun watching it.